Wednesday, April 14, 2010

One interview down....

So we had our first interview with our homestudy worker, J, this past Sunday afternoon at our house. It is amazing how nervous I was right before she got there. J had told me on the phone when we made the appointment that she likes the first interview to be at the home, so she could take a look around and see what we need to do before the actual home inspection, which will take place on April 25, along with our second interview. With that knowledge, we wanted to be as prepared as possible during this first visit. We finally installed the smoke detectors that have been sitting in the packaging for a very long time. We purchased fire extinguishers. We installed a lock on our bathroom cabinet with medicine in it. And I know that we have to put our cleaning supplies up higher, but I hadn't done that yet.

As for the actual interview, I think it went alright. Adam on the other hand, thinks it went really well. For the first interview we were together as she asked us questions. For the second one, we will be questioned alone, and so will my mom, who lives with us. Most of the questions were what we already answered on our questionnaire, like what brought us to adoption, how we felt about religion, discipline and spanking. This is where I think I blew it. I had said I didn't really believe in spanking, except in the case that your toddler was about to do something dangerous, and since you can only reason with a toddler so far, that a spanking on the butt might be appropriate. I really wish I had just stopped at " I don't believe in spanking", but I did not want it to seem that I was only giving answers that I thought she wanted to hear, so I expanded. J then went on to explain that it was not allowed through our agency ( or the state?) for children under the age of two to be spanked, and after two only on the bottom, through pants with the flat of your hand. After hearing this, I had kinda felt as if I had answered " yes, I believe in spanking, in fact, I just bought a new belt for just that occasion". So I am not exactly sure how she took my answer, so of course I have been obsessing over it, ever since.

She also asked us how we met, and since we are not married, how we feel about marriage, Adam got a little squirmy here. She also asked if we had thought about daycare and what our workplace policies were on family leave when the baby comes home. We then walked around the house, and really besides the cleaning supplies needing to be moved, we need to tidy up the wires near our desktop computer. The whole process took about an hour and ten minutes.

So, as I said, I feel as if it went ok. J did say if we wanted to elaborate, or add anything to what we said, to feel free to call her. However, I do not want to revisit the spanking discussion again, for fear that it will look like I am really obsessing over it.

In other adoption related news, I pretty much have the layout done for the birthletter. It needs to be approved. And I need to get started on the web profile. So hopefully, if things go well, we should have everything done by the time the homestudy report is done, so we will be able to go 'live" soon, I am thinking maybe sometime in the beginning of May. We shall see how that timeline pans out.

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