It has been a hard couple of weeks.

I really have not been inspired to come on here and write, for a couple reasons. One being that there is nothing to report adoption wise, and the other is that we lost a dear friend a couple of weeks ago. Leslie was only 38 years old, and she died of complications due to pneumonia. I have to say that pneumonia is an illness that should be taken seriously, and it has affected our lives in many ways now. Adam's mother died of complications from pneumonia as well, and my mother was in ICU for a couple of days with it over two years ago. What they all had in common was that they had/have autoimmune diseases, which made/makes them susceptible to infections like pneumonia. Both of our mothers had/have MS and Leslie had a disease called ITP. The frustrating part about all of this is that doctors really know very little about what causes these diseases, but of course research is ongoing, so hopefully breakthroughs will come sooner, rather than later.

Leslie's passing was really a shock to me, as she was very sick in the hospital in May with the same thing. She was getting better. Each time I saw her, she was stronger. Then we get a horrible phone call on the morning of the 19th. I really still have a hard time believing it.

Leslie was a loving mother to her two children, ages 5 and 3. And it really breaks my heart that she missed her daughter's first day of kindergarten, as she was so proud of her. Leslie was a wonderful friend and teacher. She loved to do crafts, and she showed me how to knit. She was also a computer whiz, and she taught me Photoshop. It was her encouragement and patience that helped turn me onto graphic design. She had a quirky, perverse sense of humor, similar to mine, so we could usually laugh at things that most people may have found inappropriate. She was kind and caring, and she was so supportive of Adam and I becoming parents. I will miss her very much.

If anyone is interested in learning more about ITP or MS or want to donate to help find cures, please visit:
Platelet Disorder Support Association
Bunny Gass Memorial page

Nothing New to Report

So, we have been 'live' or 'paper pregnant' for just about two months now. Even though that is a relatively short amount of time, it feels as if we are in this limbo state. Before, I felt like we were moving one step closer to adopting, with every question we answered, and every form we filled out. But now, it seems less real. Before, when people asked how the adoption process was going, I had an answer "well, we just did our fingerprints...." or " we just finished designing the birthletter" Now, it is "we are waiting'. I can already tell that people don't bring it up as often as they did, maybe for fear that it will hurt my feelings, and for the most part I am glad there are less questions, because how many clever ways are there to say "still waiting"? On the other hand, the less it gets talked about, the less real it all feels. I am not sure if that makes any sense.

I have bought a few baby outfits, so that helps. But it is hard to escape the fact that it feels like I am pretending. Pretending to get prepared for our pretend baby? I think this is exaggerated even more because I feel like I am the only one getting excited over baby clothes, or that others think its weird to buy clothes for a baby that is not there yet. Maybe that is all in my imagination or maybe I am just in a mood.

On a lighter note, I see that I have six followers now! Yay! I hope that my downer of a post doesn't scare you all away!